


Someone tell me what should I do

by MurderRose



Series: Corona Drabbles [22]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Fear - Seventeen, Multi, Poison, Songfic, at peace, breaking up, ending relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:54:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23576497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MurderRose/pseuds/MurderRose
Summary: This relationship had been destined for failure from the very beginning, but none of them had been willing to see that. “Live in the moment!” they had said.  And they had, but that moment was over now.Even my memories are staining
Relationships: Jeonghan/Joshua/Jun/Seungcheol
Series: Corona Drabbles [22]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1674001
Comments: 5
Kudos: 10





	Someone tell me what should I do

**Author's Note:**

> First attempt at a song fic! Translation from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZ81J05A6RQ
> 
> Title from Fear-Seventeen.
> 
> Characters are their own, this is fiction.  
> Enjoy!

_ You have to erase the memories of me _

Jeonghan walked through the master bedroom, searching for anything he might have forgotten and throwing it into one of the several cases open at his feet: all packed full with clothes, shoes, jewellery and toiletries. He paused and looked at the photographs that lined the dresser, hovering a hand over a small one of all of them together. Nobody was looking at the camera, everyone was laughing, they had all been happy then.

_ I’m poison _

He’d ruined everything.

_ I know I can’t take it no more _

These last few months, nothing had been the same. Every time he entered a room, they’d stopped talking; every time he’d asked what was wrong, he’d been told he was imagining things; every time he tried to start something, they were too tired, too busy or not in the mood. There was only so much refusal and dismissal that he could take.

_ Nothing lasts forever. Knowing that, I still can’t end it _

This relationship had been destined for failure from the very beginning, but none of them had been willing to see that. “Live in the moment!” they had said. And they had, but that moment was over now. And here he was, packing to leave while nobody was home, not even strong enough to say it face to face. 

_ Tell me what you want, what I wanted to give to you _

What had he done wrong? He’d loved them all, loved everything, everyone, he’d tried so hard to be the glue that kept everyone together, to be someone they all needed and wanted and loved, but something had gone wrong along the way. He ended up feeling like the dust on top of the shelves: unwanted and unneeded.

_ My heart, on the contrary, is causing more pain _

Staying here, staying silent, staying ignored and pushed away… It hurt. It hurt him, and it probably hurt them. They didn’t seem to have the courage to break it off either.   
Sure, this would hurt everyone, but hopefully they’d heal, they’d smooth over the gap that Jeonghan would leave in the relationship. He’d heal eventually too, hopefully.

_ I’m dangerous. I’m venomous.  _

His previous partners were right. He poisoned everything he touched, turned everyone against him, ruined everything.

_ The sharp truth is more important than my sincerity _

Jeonghan zipped up the cases and rolled them down the hall and out into his car, closing the boot firmly on top of them. He turned around, looked up at their lovely home. They’d spent ages searching for a house big enough for what they needed, with enough rooms, with a garden, in a neighbourhood progressive enough to leave them alone. He’d fallen in love with it at first sight, he’d miss it. Miss the rooms they’d painstakingly decorated, the kitchen, the couch he’d insisted on, their office…

_ Got to get away, can’t hesitate anymore. Everything turns grey _

He pulled the door closed, and then pushed an envelope and his keys back through the letterbox. It was time. Time to go. His sister had already made up her spare room, and his nephew was excited to see him. It was time.

_ I cut out my fantasy and escape. Before the poison spreads, got to get away _

Jeonghan turned the key in the ignition, switched on the radio, and pulled out of the driveway. As he turned onto the main road, tears started to fall down his face.    
He’d made this choice to save himself, but it felt like he’d cut off an arm. 

It hurt.

  
  
  
  


They knew something was wrong when they came home to an empty drive. Jeonghan’s car was gone. It was never gone, and he hadn’t mentioned going out. 

Seungcheol pushed open the door and saw the keys on the floor. Joshua hurried up the stairs, going into their bedroom, and sunk onto the floor as he registered the empty space where Jeonghan’s things should be.

Jun pushed open the door, his bright smile fading when he took in Seungcheol at the kitchen table, letter open in front of him, tears falling down his face. 

  
  


_ You have to erase your memories of me, I’m poison. _

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Let me know what you thought in the comments below!
> 
> Rose x
> 
> [Come talk to me on Twitter](https://twitter.com/RoseEnDiamant)


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